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on eating disorders

Muse & Poem: Sheri Ptolmy
Imagery: Rachelle
Mount Currie, BC
st'at'imc Territory
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The first time I thought I was fat

was when I received a pair of violet flannel pjs
for Christmas and they were two sizes too small.

Then Kelly’s mother pointed to the photo of a curvy model
in Seventeen magazine and said “that’s your body type, Sheri”
like I had done something wrong.

I quit soccer when my best friend pointed out my
excessively muscular calves. I turned to running
because that’s the skinny girls’ sport.

I threw out my shorts after my Aunt told me
that she doesn’t wear them anymore because
it makes her cellulite show.

I started wearing t-shirts at pool parties so
I wouldn’t get compared to my skinny friends,
calculated my BMI daily, and stopped eating.